The Tales of the Paintball Wife

Thousands of people play paintball or are involved in paintball in some fashion.  Ever wonder how it is paintball sneaks into your everyday life?  Well here is my take on it!

When I moved to Florida, the plan was for me to continue working for the same company I had worked for in Tulsa Oklahoma.  Star Buffet owns Casa Bonita in Tulsa and in Denver Colorado.  They also own all the Buddy Freddie’s and Holiday Houses in Florida.  I was offered a choice of 4 places to go to work at to still stay in management with the company.  None of them were anywhere near where we lived.  If I remember right, the closest was about 2 1/2 hours from our house… each way to drive to and from work.  so I job searched for something closer.  I was offered an interview  with Blockbuster and had went to Unreal Paintball and Gaming to tell my hubby.  When I told him, I was asked by my now boss to come work for him at his printing company.  now over 6 years later, I am still with that company.   I love my job and try to achieve everything I can there, even if I have some not so great days, over all it has been a fun ride! 

Getting back to how paintball creeps into my everyday life, it seems that almost everyday I find out people that I know through work, customers that I have, even through my BNI group I am in, paintball is something that just works it’s way in. 

A friend of ours is opening Mutiny Paintball here close to us, and he has brought his plans in to be copied, so I get to see the progress of his field as it gets closer to completion. 

Through my BNI group my work asked me join, I have had my one 2 one meetings and learned they some of the professionals I have meetings with either played before or have kids who play(ed).  I met one such man, who’s son is none other then LP Everett, whom I have heard his name, (and later found out, he played for Strange…..and I loved that team!) and asked Dale if he knew him and he told me he not only knew him but has played paintball with him.  I thought that was just wild.  

As a paintball wife, my closet has lots of paintball clothes in it.  Not just jerseys and paintball pants, but also t shirts, and jackets.  On the weekends I wear a lot of  paintball clothes.  While I was in Oklahoma visiting my family, my mom asked me if I owned anything but paintball clothes.  I just told her I feel more comfortable in them, and supporting the sport I love is very important to both of us.  I hope we are always involved in paintball, always there to help the sport and the industry.  When you find you have a passion for something, it doesn’t get contained to evenings and weekends, it just happens that way.

This post is not going to be about paintball.  Right now since we have no games (mostly because of summer heat) it is a slow time for thepaintballwife.  So I am going to post about something else *gasp* there is life beyond paintball and a whole lot of memories before!

Has anyone ever noticed that the people we knew and loved since childhood or teenager ville are starting to die?  For the most part I have made my peace with the fact that all the TV, movie and music stars of my life are going to leave at some point.  But, it is still hard sometimes to think about.  

Bea Arthur- I grew up watching the Golden girls and wishing I had Bea’s wit.  At any given moment she can sling out a one liner that leaves you laughing.  Of course before there was the wonderful combination of the 4 retired Miami women, there was Maude.  I don’t remember really watching it a lot though, I think at that point I was still into cartoons and barbies.  As i grow closer to the age that the Golden Girls represent, I sure can see their point on a lot of the subjects they touched upon.   Yes, I still watch them, I see at least an episode or 3 a week…..so picture it Sicily 1922……..

Ed McMahon -  There will never be another side kick like him, with the made famous words “Here’s Johnny!”  from the Tonight Show, Ed was made a household name. 

Ed was also the host of  Star Search, and like a lot of teenagers, I watched it religiously, and was the face of the Publishers Clearinghouse Million Dollar sweepstakes.  Star Search was a take off point for millions of people who had talent and wanted to break into show business.  Publishers Clearinghouse gave away tons of money, and usually Ed surprised them at home with the balloons and a huge check…me I would have fainted away if I answered the door.  Ed McMahon, you got 4 stars and you are the winner of this weeks Star Search!

Farrah Fawcett – Timeless beauty, sweet and for the most part soft spoken Farrah came into our lives through our lives on young men’s/boy’s walls, and through our TVs as one of the angel’s on Charlie’s Angel’s.  Her mane of blonde hair, flash of white straight teeth, and oh so beautiful curves made a man’s heart beat fast and a woman a bit (sometimes more) jealous.  She had a troublesome marriage to Lee Majors.  Her life partner since 1979 was Ryan O’ Neal, and together they had a son, Redmond.

Farrah was more then just a beautiful face though, have any of you seen the Burning Bed?  All I can say is WOW.  She was amazing.  She also did Small Sacrifices, which is the story of a woman who kills her children so she can be with her lover.  I don’t care who you are, that movie had to be hard to make…and Farrah did a great job.

Farrah will forever be seen as a beauty and an angel, with the TV land reruns that will forever keep her young and beautiful.  so when you hear “Good Morning Angel’s”, “Good Morning Charlie”, you know that through our TV screens, our angel’s will never really be gone.

Michael Jackson – I think the death of Michael Jackson was a shock to the whole world.  I was one of the many who have been awaiting his comeback tour.  He is part of my childhood and my teenager ville.  My very first cassette tape was Off the Wall.  I remember so much about Michael and his career, that I don’t have both the time or energy to put it all down but I will try. 

I had The Jackson 5 CD with the song ABC on it and I loved that song.  I was always amazed at how a boy so young could sing and dance this way into everyone lives and hearts. 

When Michael went off on his own and recorded Off The Wall, it reall showed how talented he was.  His relationship with Quincy Jones and Motown Records was special.  With the lack of relationship with his own father, Quincy was what Michael really needed, a father and someone for Michael to look up to and learn from.  When Michael left Motown, I was really surprised, but at that point, hey he was a musical genius, who was anyone to say he was making a mistake. 

Michael’s album Thriller spawned 5 top hits and I remember staying up til after the late night movie cause there was at least 1 or 2 videos they showed.  That year at the grammy’s, Michael walked away with more awards then any one else in history.  The first time I seen Thriller, I had to have a jacket like that, and my Mom bought me this little red jacket with like a million zippers all over it.  I can remember dancing in my room and with one of my childhood friends who lived down the road from me, and trying to perfect my moonwalk.  I was in high school and can remember moon walking in the hallway at Oilton High School. 

My favorite song that Michael sang is Man in the Mirror.  It showed me we all need to change, to make our world and our lives better.  To help those who have nothing, and it all starts with the man in the mirror.  Michael and so many others came together to make the song “We Are The World” and it moved more then just a nation, it moved the world.

Michael’s beginnings were poor, when his father figured out the boys had talent, he pushed and pushed making them practice when they should have been able to be children first.  As Michael aged, it just seemed that he aged on the outside, but not the inside.  He had very childlike qualities that make him an oddity to a lot of people.  He built his own fantasy land that he called Neverland.  with animals and amusement park rides, Michael could be that child he didn’t get to be.  He was a brilliant entertainer, but spent the better part of his life being misunderstood. 

Michael faced allegations, and when found not guilty, there were a lot of people who turned their backs on him.  He married Lisa Marie Presley in 1984 and they divorced in 1996.  he had 2 children with Debbie Rowe, Prince Michael and Paris and 1 child with an unknown woman, even to be rumored as a test tube pregnancy, that child is Prince Michael II, or Blanket as he is nicknamed.

Michael’s death has effected the world.  For me, it is the loss of a childhood idol, and for his family it is the loss of a son, a brother, and a father.  I think it hits me so hard sometimes when a child no matter how old dies before the parents.  As some of you know, my sister was murdered in 1988 and watching my parents go through what they did, I don’t think a parent should ever have to outlive  their child.  I hope in their time of grief, Michael’s family get all the love and guidance they need.  Michael’s legacy will go on, and even though there will never ever be another gloved one like Michael, it will be up to us to continue on moon walking.

Have you ever ordered parts/guns/masks/paintball clothes or well really anything paintball related and not received it?  Ever sent your gun off to be painted, worked on, or upgraded and not received it back, or better yet received it back either not working or looking like shit? 

Here is your chance to bitch about it to the world!  Why?  Hmm glad you asked!

Say my hubby has a gun in which he sent off to be anodized and it came back looking like shit and we had to pay someone else to finish it..oh wait!  That happened!  Now what kind of person would I be to sit by and let it happen over and over again to people we love and care about?  How about if it happens to a kid/adult who is just getting started in paintball and now that they have sent off their gun, they can’t play…ya think they might think twice about being in paintball?  Right now when the economy is brutal and paintball is suffering enough, do we really need to shed more bad light on it or give our shit to people who we obviously cannot trust. 

The person who had my husband’s gun owns his own business, ASA.  I understand he moved, and had a few problems to go along with that.  But, last time I looked, the United States was full of phones and if you can get on the computer…you can fucking send an email to explain yourself.  As a business owner you have a responsibility to the public to (1) do what your say your going to do, (2) If you cannot fulfill your end of the bargain, then return the products, and (3) Own up if you’ve made a mistake, just own up and FIX IT.  Shit happens, but for being a business owner, dude you suck at it.  If I could not do what I was suppose to at work, which I am in charge of a lot of expensive shit, construction plans that don’t belong to me, hundreds of thousands of dollars in equipment, if I couldn’t do my job, if I couldn’t be responsible enough to get the plans back to who they belonged to…at least I would have the balls to apologize and fix it….and I am not a guy so no balls here!

You might say I am angry, I am.  For one, we promoted him and told people he was a cool guy, we had seen his work, and it was good work.  Now I feel like shit cause we told people to go to him.  The we had to pay to get what was suppose to have done finished.  Pisses me off to no end for someone to mess with my money.  Pisses me off worse to be wrong about someone, and to tell people that I was wrong about this guy knowing his shit and doing a good job.

Will this sour me on sending our guns out to be worked on?  Na, just will make me a little gun shy…I have a Rasta Fly I want the barrel done to match the gun…..and I am thinking I will find someone here before I send it off to get it done.  My hubby may not be so attached to his guns, but my Rasta, that is my baby and I would have to hurt someone over it. 

Like I said, if you got screwed over in buying or getting something repaired let me know!  The word should be out so others don’t get screwed!

Sorry it has been a few weeks since I did a post, things are a little s-l-o-w right now!  I am hoping some good stuff for me to talk about drops right into my lap or I may be forced to talk about a lot of things other then paintball.

My husband and I have many many many friends within the industry of paintball.  Sometimes I still wonder how it is I didn’t know anything about paintball before marrying my husband and moving to Florida. 

Our friends Bob and Julie Cartwright are opening a new field that is literally like 10 minutes from our house.  It will be an Extreme Sports Park, which wil have paintball AND some different water activities like The Blob.  Go to youtube and look it up it will be a blast!

We are hoping that it becomes a very popular field and that they do very well in the area they have chosen to lease.    There will be a nice enlcosed place to sit and eat where you can relax and not worry that the flies are going to fly off with your hot dog!  With a breeze coming off the lake, and a beach front to go put your feet in the water when you get hot from playing paintball…it will be great. 

We wish all the best of luck to bob and Julie and they know without a doubt we are behind them all the way!!!

Now that PaintClub 21 is over, just what was the big fuss about?

I mean, really what was the whiney, cry baby attitude of people who did not want this game to go on?  I have set back and watched this unfold for the last few months and the only thing I can conclude is that the people who were making the noise about it….were the people who were NOT invited.

There was no alcohol on the field, nor anyone drinking alcohol on the field or playing while drinking.  Yes, there were strippers…for the men and the women.  There were no problems, and wow for a paintball game that is great!!!! 

So no I ask again, what was the big freakin deal??? 

Now…wonder when the next PaintClub 21 game is………………….

In this economy how many people now have to budget their recreational time?  Decide what games to get to go to and what games they have to sit out?  If you play tournament ball, do you play this tournament and skip the next two?  What kind of paint can you afford now? 

Let’s start with scenario games.  If you go to this game, you will have to sit out the next one.  Is one cheaper then the other and if you go will you have a good time?  Do you give up renting movies or going out to eat and cooking at home instead so that you have the extra money to attend an extra game this year?  Choose your games wisely.  We are seeing more and more folks missing one or more games, not driving their rv’s and choosing to car pool to make sure they can attend certain games.   Here are a few tips to help you save a little at a game.

(1.)  Bring a case of water and an ice chest.  Ice is a buck or two and you can get a case of 20 oz. waters at Walmart for $4.00.  Throw in a couple Gatorade’s, you can find them cheaper at Dollar General or Walmart.   You can save an average of $10.00 or more by bringing your own fluids to drink.

(2.)  I know some people would rather have a hot meal at the field when they come in for dinner break but, that will cost you at least $5.00 or more for one meal.  Bringing sandwich meat, mustard, bread and chips can help curb that cost.  Most men do not look at sale papers but jeez guys, if you want to attend an extra game or two, look for some deals!!  If you bring sandwich fixings, you can save at least another $10.00 or more.  Bringing your own snacks is very helpful.  First, how do you know the field will have what you like?  You can go to walmart or any other low cost supermarket chain and purchase your snacks in bulk form.  If you travel as a team, buying in bulk can definitely be a penny saver! 

(3.)  Buying paint.  If you go to a field that is field paint only, the only advice I can give you is don’t be a hoser on the field.  Think about your shots before you make them.  Even when your in the chrono station, is it necessary to shoot the target 50 times?  Dude you killed it at 5…let it go!  Save it for the field!  If you are at a bring your own paint event, just because you see a sale on paint doesn’t mean you should jump up and buy 4 cases.  Example:  Joe Blow is going to a bring your own paint event.  He finds paint at a store for $35.00 a case, so he buys 4.  The paint isn’t such a great kind.  He will spend $140.00 on paint that he will have to shoot the guy on the opposite side 100 plus times to get 1 ball to break on him!  By the time that happens or even before, the guys is saying he is out…just to get away from you!    Now we have his brother James Blow going to the same event.  He finds paint for $45.00 a case.  He buys two.  The paint is more expensive by $10.00 a case but James knows that when he is out on the field, he has a better chance at the ” one shot one kill” method then Joe.  James plays the same game and goes home with a bag of paint left, cause he didn’t have to shoot the crap out of someone to get them out.  James spent $90.00 for paint, Joe spent $140.00, who saved money and who had the better time?

(4.)  Batteries.  Everyone has to have them.  It is better to use the rechargeables then to use the throw aways.  It may not save you alot the first time you use them, but the second, third and fourth time..it will save you money.

I know there are more examples of how to save a buck or two while trying to have the best time you can at a game.  Let’s hear from you!  If you know of a money saving way to help out yourself or the guy next to you…share!

I was talking about paintball with someone the other day, and this person really knows nothing about paintball.  I was explaining scenario and tournament and the differences between the two.  As I was telling the person about paintball, she began to ask me questions about scenario’s and how you *see* people out in the woods.  Most people are visible out in the woods, just for the fact they wear colorful jerseys.  Then there are the tactical guys who are good at hiding and being camoflauged.  The guys with the gilly suits who are flush up against a tree or flat on the ground.  Frankly, those guys give me the willy’s sometimes!  I will be walking along, minding my own business, it can be quiet where I am, and then I hear a twig snap, a small russel of leaves or material.  My heart will race, cause let’s face it, your in the woods that do have some wild animals, and sometimes you never know if it could be a person in a gilly suit or a bear waiting to chew on my leg!  Yes, if you haven;t figured it out yet, I am a scaredy cat.  I grew up in rural Oklahoma on a farm where there were real live wild black panthers.  You never go into the woods without being cautious. 

How effective is it to be the person in the gilly suit?  To be the person who is creeping around in the woods waiting to ambush someone?  When all the major fighting is going on 100 ft to your left, how much fun is it to sit by yourself and wait for someone to happen upon you?  Do you giggle when you see me coming down the path, tripping over a root and muttering to myself and shaking my head?  I bet that is funny……

Let me know your views on being the person in the gilly suit.  Being that stealthy ninja hiding flush against that tree waiting to pick off unsuspecting players. 

Before I close this out, I want to share with you my first, very first time seeing a person in a gilly suit.

I was helping my new husband (Dale) cover a game for MPP Games.  I had only covered a couple games at this time, it was probably my 2nd or 3rd game at the most.   Dale and I had Josh Butler with us taking photos.  I had a couple roles in which I played a happy hooker and a scientist.  At the time of my role as the happy hooker, I had to be at a perticular spot waiting to be *picked up*.  I was looking toward a cluster of trees, and umm well one of the trees moved.  Not the whole tree, but like just part of it. I looked away, looked back and it happened again.  I blinked and looked harder, thinking it must be my imagination, I was tired.  When it happened for a third time, I asked Josh, who was there to take pictures of the happy hooker, what it was I was seeing.  he laughed and explained abouit the guys wearing the gilly suits.  Well I thought that was freaking cool!  I would have never known it if the guy hadn’t moved a little.  I found out later who the guy was and he told me that he had moved on purpose to we would see that he was there, waiting to ambush the guys who were coming for me.  He laughed when he found out I thought I was going nuts watching a tree move.  It was my very first experience with someone in a gilly suit. 

I know this one is kind of short, but I am in the middle of taking my avon classes.    If anyone is interested in buying Avon or becoming an Avon Rep.  contact me at jamie@thefordreport.com.  Even if you live far away from me I have an Avon website where you can order and have it drop shipped directly to you.  I even have a coupon code for free shipping so there is no cost to get it to you.  It is a great way to suppliment your income and Avon works around your schedule, not the other way around.  My avon website is www.youravon.com/jford5615 so pass me around to your wives, mothers and girlfriends guys and help a sista out!

I am sorta taking this from the movie, The Bucket List.  No, I haven’t seen it but from what I gather it is a movie about all the things you want to do before you kick the bucket.  Well this is sorta the same thing.  This is my list of people I want to Thank, cause you never know…when it is time for your ticket to be punched.

I lost a friend last Sunday.  James Clark is his name.  He was someone first I worked with, later I became friends with, and whom I will forever miss.  He worked with me for a bit, then left because of illness.  We kept in touch.  I was his hoochie mama and he was my queen.  Yes, he was a very proud gay male.  Nothing for my husband to worry about.  Nor did he have to worry that James would hit on him, James had had the love of his life and like himself his love was taken way too soon.  He kept that part of his life under wraps and didn’t flirt or flaunt.  James was funny as hell.  He could make me spit out pop through my nose funny.  He once told me just because I ate cherries didn’t mean I would get mine back, and my comeback was *but I still have the box it came in!*  He was always amazed at how quick my comebacks were, and that when I wore a tan skirt I wore tan shoes, or black skirt with black shoes…that I coordinate well.  He bought me beautiful flowers at work once, both my boss and myself (I had a female boss there til she retired and I took over) just because we had a hectic week.  He worried and paced and tried his best to protect me when a co-worker was threatening me (and I wouldn’t tell anyone), I just kept telling him I was a big girl and I could handle it.  Later we found out the same girl went to jail after she tried to kill her daughters boyfriend with hedge clippers.  Let me make clear, none of my bosses knew what went on, I wouldn’t run and tell, I just kept telling James the girl would get over it and that I was a big girl.  On her last day my boss actually heard her say something to me and got onto her, shocked I had went over a month saying nothing.  She left and never returned.  James worried she would be out there somewhere waiting for me, heh heh, now he HAS to look after me, for I know in my heart he got a pair of wings.  So this part of my blog is dedicated to my friend, my queen, the one man I knew who dressed wrinkle free, no hair out of place and owned Gucci socks.  Here’s to you my friend, I have cried alot this week, but I am still a big girl so enjoy those wings til I get there, we still have to have that tropical drink by the pool!  I miss you always, Thank you for being my friend.

When you think about Thanking people, who is it that you think about?  Your spouse, parents, your closest friends?  Mine is a little bigger.

First, yes I want to thank my husband.  If he hadn’t moved to Florida, asked me to marry him (in the round about way that happened), then I wouldn’t have come here or really know anything about paintball.  Though he probably doesn’t think so, he is my essential person, my other half of my whole, the ying to my yang so to speak. 

Now onto the rest of my Thanks.  When I first got here I didn’t know what to expect.  I only wanted to have a life with my husband, and work and make a decent living.  I didn’t expect paintball.  I underestimated what it was, ans what the impact would have on me.  My first week I was welcomed with open arms (as much as they could, they did not know me from adam) by my husbands friends.  Then I met the guys on the paintballchannel.com team that later became 68caliber.com team.  Lance, Kurt, Ben, Bryan, Pete, Doug, Josh, Tim, Mike, Cedric, and then later when he came back from Iraq, Jacob and even later Zach and Antonio.  Thank you guys for showing me paintball.  For teaching me right from wrong with paintball.  I was so nervous, so scared to go out there.  It was Ben who made me the most comfortable.  My husband gave me a Bushmaster gen 3 paintball gun as a wedding present.  All the men are going AWWWW and the women are going WHAT THE HELL???  It was Ben who used a  Bushmaster and talked to me gently about everything.  He had a special way of making me feel like I was right at home when I was with a crowd of strangers.  He still does that for me.  It was Lance who not only took me out on the field to play for the first time, and stayed right there with me.  Then a couple weeks later, he gave me a job.  A purpose in which to be.  Most people look at a job and think, ya it is a job.  I am not built that way.  I mold myself around a job and it drives my husband nuts.  It is just the way I am.  Ben gave me something else.  he gave me a place to take pictures.  Which I found very strange considering I had never really used a camera much.  Bryan gave me a place in which those pictures were put so others could see them.  Now I have a place on my husbands site thefordreport.com and can take pictures to my hearts content.  Josh, Tim, Cedric, Zach and Antonio.  What can I say boys?  I am proud of you all.  I love you as though you were mine.  You made my missing my kids a little less painful.  I fretted, cheered, and yelled at each one of you.  I never thought being called mom by a bunch of smelly foul paintball boys was anything less then wonderful. 

There are many people I met in paintball I am proud to call my friends.   Ben and Bonnie from MPP games (same Ben), Andy and Kristie from NOCER, Billy and Paula Smith from Low Country Paintball, Bob and Susie from BearClaw Paintball, Charleen and Rex from Old River, John and Elsie Navarro and all the pimps!, Frank Connell, Rocky Cagnoni, Bob and Julie Cartwright, Charles from Blackwater Paintball, Bea Youngs (beautifully pregnant with a new up and coming paintball player lilpax!), George and Mike Spurlock, Dennis and Sammo who used to be Centerflag Products,  Rich from PBJunkie, John from PaintballX3, Dawn and T.J. Allcot, T.B., and man I could go on for days how many people have effected my life and the way to see and feel about paintball.  If Ididn’t say your name, it in no way says I don’t care of you didn’t effect or help me…but wordpress doesn’t have enough space to put ALL the people I care about on here! 

There are paintball companies I want to Thank also.  SoBe Paintball, Draxxus/Procaps, HardCorps, Angel Sports, and as I said above, there are a ton of you guys and I probably cannot name everyone.  Sobe…what can I say, I love you guys and know that whatever Dale and I decide to do in the future of paintball you will always have our backs and we will have yours.  Draxxus/Procaps, Frank my love you have given alot to me, and always have been so sweet and funny, Draxxus, thank you very much for giving Dale a chance to prove he is more then just what rumors are made of.  HardCorps, George and Mike, I love you guys, you always made me feel special and never left me out of anything.  Last but not least, Angel Sports Bart, Matt and Frazer you guys make the best gun in the world, I love my Rasta Fly!  Thank you for the terrific clothes and for always fixing my gun when I screw it up! 

Thank you to the best looking hotties in the industry!  Max, Chris, Frank, Rocky….do you realize you are what dreams are made of???? 

And last but not least for the rest of my paintball friends.  I love you guys.  The most fun I have when I come to a game is sitting around and chatting with you, or being on the field and being protected by you.  refs who do not mind being my own personal bunkers, guys and gals who will go shoot other people just cause they shot me…I won’t forget that!  I have my own harem of men in which my hubby is #1, but knows I have all these others behind him!  I love being a pimpette in pimps clothing, wearing my nocer shirt that stretches the word Nocer like 5 times the size it is suppose to be, and I love the rol playing I get to do in games.  I don’t play, I take pictures and role play.  That is good enough for me.  I get to go all over the field and visit with everyone and I like that.  I Thank each one of you for all the fun I get to have and the love I feel when I am there.

Thank you to all the women of paintball!  You girls rock!  You prove everyday that women can do anything. 

This is my Thank you list.  It replaces a bucket list for me, cause thanking the people I love is more important then anywhere I could get to go or anything else I could ever want to do.  You guys are people who impact the sport of paintball and at times we all see the not so pretty side of paintball, what I try to always remember is all the beautiful sides of paintball.  You know I do not pull any punches and I expect the same from each and every one of you. 

Now that you have seen my *bucket* list, if I die tomorrow you all know you are loved and appreciated…but I intend on being around a lonnnnngggg time!

Nudity and paintball, paintball and nudity.  Do they belong in the same sentence?  Does one go with the other?  As if! 

When I open a paintball magazine I cringe when I see a half naked picture of a girl holding a paintball gun.  How many chicks do you actually ACTUALLY actually see out on the paintball field half or almost completely naked???  Duh, none!  I have seen guys out on the field wearing shorts and no shirt.  Usually by the end of the game they are wearing shorts, no shirt and a zillion welts!   Now, when I go out onto the field, I wear shorts, a sleeveless shirt and sandals, unless it is cold…..then I am wrapped in like 4 layers of clothes.  Would I go out onto a field in a pair of panties and a sports bra?  First off, I am not THAT stupid… second, I wear little enough out there because I am a chunky chica, and this girl isn’t going to overheat and have to throw up with her mask on..that is just nasty!  Oh and third, they don’t make sports bras for my size bust line…..

Now having said that, I think it is totally stupid that they stand there with a paintball gun and little else.  Makes me want to run out there and buy what they are selling…NOT.  I would much rather see what they wear out there.  I want to know about the latest paintball clothes for women.  Especially paintball pants.  Have any other of you women out there ever tried to run in paintball pants that are made for a guy?  You have like 6 inches hanging down in the crotch area….as if any of the guys need ALL that room!  Trying to run with the crotch hanging down to my knees is hard.  I already am highly against running, then I have the problem of running looking like I am a Michael Jackson double grabbing the crotch so I can run fast enough! 

Now, I might change my mind about all the nudity and paintball if, IF we get some of those girls to come on out and run around out there getting the crap shot out of them in nothing but a smile.  OR let’s get one of the guys, you know the ones….the ones who are going to comment on this blog and run their mouths like lava from a volcano.  Let’s get one of them to run out there in his tighty whiteys and no cup!  Then let’s shoot him in the balls and see if he wants to continue to run that mouth. 

Yes it bother’s me that mostly naked women are covering the magazines, not only for the fact that they wouldn’t  wear that on the paintball field….but also for another reason.  Family.  There has been alot being said lately about it being a family sport.  With all the crap flying around about PaintClub21, and yet wow nothing about nudity in paintball.  Words traveling at the speed of sound, family, and morals.  Where are the morals of the people who accept this as normal?  Ahhhh so it is only about family and morals when it is convenient to target something your not invited to or do not want to partake in.  To me, PaintClub21 has nothing to do with family and it isn’t suppose to.  It is a 21 and over game.  Not everything you do includes family.  If you drink, smoke, have sex, look at porn, watch anything over and including a pg13 movie, or use profanity then you are not including family.  Everything I listed is or is suppose to be an adult activity, an adult indulgance.  Do I have an opinion on PaintClub21?  As long as the strippers aren’t on the field naked or in partial dress, as long as children aren’t there, and as long as the alcohol is being abused AFTER the players leave the field…then what the fuck is the big deal?  Hmm nothing I guess.  I have been hearing good and bad stuff on it, and hey it is going to happen.   Everyone has an opinion and like an asshole it stinks.  I haven’t even made up my mind if I am going or not yet.  There is no media/cameras allowed there, so what am I going to do??  Sit and just enjoy watching the strippers (I hear there will be men strippers for the women) I have thought that might be nice…just to sit and relax with friends and watch a guy shake his money maker!  I dunno though, a weekend alone with a dozen scary movies and a gallon of baskin robbins chocolate chip ice cream…now THAT sounds wonderful!   Am I upset Dale is going?  I have been giving him crap about it, just to yank his chain…and poor Billy and Sideshow think I am serious!  Am I a good actress or what!  I should be up for an Oscar!  I don’t care if he goes.  Now if one of the strippers touch my hubby…she might want to rethink her line of work, she won’t be able to spin that pole with a hand lopped off!   

Now you know my opinion on nudity and paintball…let’s hear yours!  But, don’t get mad when I make fun of you or *poo* *poo* your opinion…remember this is my blog

Now I understand there are purple guns, I own one.  Pretty multi colored guns, I own one of those also.  But how many pretty paintball accessories are there actually made for girls/women?  Like a barrel condom that has a kitten on it with glitter?  Ok, so I woiuldn’t use a barrel condom with a kitten on it with glitter…but ya see where I am going with this.  I see tons of barrel condoms with half naked chicks on them, which is going to be a whole other up coming blog so I am not going to get on my soap box about that one right now!  I see tons of black ones, which make absolutely NO sense to me seeings that when you are hit and call yourself out, first thing you do is stand up, put your barrel condom on and put your gun in the air.  I have seen guns in the air where I could not tell if the condom was on it or not.  If a player on the opposite side cannot tell, and your gun is not high enough in the air, what are the odds of getting shot a few extra times?  I am telling you, if I had a bright shiny glittery condom on, no one would mistake that I got shot out. 

What about those paintball pants?  I swear mine are like a million times too long.  I have a pair of smokin pants.  I love them but I wished they were more tailored for a female figure.  I can grab an extra handful of material in the crotch area alone! 

I understand why there are black or clear (like mine) masks.  It makes it easier to hide.  I would like a bright colored one when I am on the field taking pictures though.  Also, they don’t really tailor them for people with smaller heads like myself.  My mask isn’t being made anymore so when I go to buy a new one, I am as good as screwed in that department.  Mine is a Proteus and I truely love it, so you see my dilema.

I would love to find some bright orange camo stuff.  That while I am out on the field I can be in plain view and you can’t miss that I am NOT a player, so don’t shoot me.  Pretty much the only camo I can safely wear on the field is my panties….and no one gets to see those except the hubby! 

Chest protectors.  I understand they work.  I have one, I don’t wear it very often.  It is NOT made for a woman with boobs.  It gets in the way because it moves around, and shouldn’t they come in pretty colors?  I mean really, I like a little color.  I would be happy if I could get my camera in a pretty color, but that is the girl in me! 

This is just my .02 cents on why isn’t there enough color in paintball accessories.  Hope you get at least a giggle out of it!